mtv movie awards...

in case you missed it...
here's the thinspo from the night:

let's go naked?

So I went shopping again today (I have to find something to wear to my sisters graduation tomorrow) I'm way too fucking fat. I hate myself. Whoever invented clothes was just some ass hole who wanted people to feel bad about themselves. Let's just all go naked? ... Except I'm way to fat to go naked....

i want to be skinny

Remember: Drink lots of water, exercise your ass off (literally) and if you must eat...make it only fruits and veggies (low cal ones)

summer = shorts :/

So summer is coming up...
My school officially let's out on friday (although I probably wont be going most of this week)

Summer = shorts

My legs are huge! I don't want people to see what I look like in shorts :/
I wish I could lose weight overnight.
Summer also means swim suits...I still do not look good in my swim suit. Fuck...I bought it like a month ago(?) And I still haven't lost enough to look good in it.

My friends and I didn't smoke yesterday. We were on our way to go buy it, when we got pulled over. Long story short the dumbass dealer was speeding and doesn't have his license and the car was "stolen" from his parents. We got a ride home in a cop car. Then we couldn't find anyone to get us bud. So we're going on Monday instead. Wish me luck with the munchies...

I decided that I'm going to start taking wheatgrass detox shots (or maybe buy the pills). They're healthy for you, and they can help you lose weight (: So I hope they work. (If any of you don't know what they are, google them. I suggest trying it. If you're fasting-it's suppost to help you lose a lot of weight. They aren't the best tasting, but it's worth it.)

Does anyone have any suggestions for me on new ways to burn a few extra calories in my day? Or quick workouts I could squeeze in after my other ones?

I want my legs to be that skinny....



summer summer summer

So life's been up and down lately.

I gauged my ears more last night (they are now size 0) and now they hurt like a bitch.

I recently bought my ticket to see Kid Cudi next month (:

School's almost out. I have a week left. I'm DYING for it to be summer already. I want to be able to do my workouts when I want to (instead of having to squeeze them into my day)

Did anyone watch The Biggest Loser finale? AMAZING! So much thinspo! I was glad that one of the sisters one, although I was kinda hoping that Hannah would win.

I starting feeling fat and lazy when I realized that some of the people who were once hundreds of pounds, now weigh less than me. :/

Speaking of finales...Is anyone out there a fan of Glee? I love it. Heather Morris, Naya Rivera and Diana Agron are so skinny and so dang beautiful.

blah blah blah

Did any of you watch The Biggest Loser last night? Hannah and Olivia - Final two (: Yay!

I feel extra fat today :/ don't even get me started.
Why oh why am I such a fucking fat ass.

fall seven times, stand up eight.

Yesterday, swimsuit shopping was actually kind of an inspiration to me. Of course my aunt called me fat the whole time, and I looked like I weighed 3,000 pounds in all of the swim suits, but I found one that was really cute. Which made me want to lose a bunch of weight to look better in it once summer gets here.

Today I'm home "sick". I have something called GERD that makes me throw up a lot of the time. So when I want excuses to not eat, or to get out of going to places, then I just say it's from GERD. Plus, it gives me excuses to throw up nasty food I've eaten.

Thinspo of today (:

Mila Kunis & Heather Morris.

You might recognize Mila from That 70's Show & Black Swan.

Heather from Glee.

Neither of them are Ana, but they're both really thin, and fit. (Heather is a dancer/choreographer) Sometimes it's nice for me to have thinspo of people who aren't necessarily anorexic. & They're both fun celebritites from shows we all know & love (: Well at least I LOVE them!

&& Betty:

Thanks hun (: That made me feel a bunch better. & You're right. My aunt's a bigger fat ass than I am. Lol.

FML.

Today didn't go as good as planned. Of course.

I went with my mom today and she took me to the movie, and bought popcorn, then out to eat, then out for ice cream. FML. & My mom was with me every second, so I couldn't even go throw it up.

Plus I weighed myself today, and I haven't lost anything! I'm so mad and upset! I'll have to stick better to my diet and exercising.

I'm going to exercise and get a good night sleep (hopefully). I slept like shit last night. Plus I'm getting sick! Life sucks right now...

Tomorrow I'm being forced by my aunt to go swimsuit shopping. Greattt.... I'll get to see how big of a fucking fat ass I look in a swimsuit. Perfect after just finding out that all my hard work and exercising hasn't paid off.
But on the bright side I'm thinking about doing Power 90. (Exercise workout vid) If anyone's done it, please comment and tell me how it is. I'm excited!

Also I was suprised to find that I have 4 followers already. It's only been a day. I thought this blog was basically just going to be for me, and maybe I'd get a couple followers after a few months. So thanks everyone (: It makes me feel kinda good. Feel free to comment, make suggestions, and even ask questions. Or if it's private I can just give you my e-mail.

Also there's a link to it at the top of my blog, but it's kinda hard to see. If anyone's looking for some good thinspo, and realistic thinspo I have a photobucket account with a bunch of thinspo on it.

&& Heather:

Thanks for the comment! I appriciate it. It's hard to have to deal with. I'm sure we all wish that it was much easier to be skinny... Good luck with everything, and be careful hun.

The Introduction

Basically all you need to know about me, is in the little section where it says about me. I designed this blog for mostly myself and anyother person out there looking for some support. It's a blog for those ONLY with eating disorders. If you don't have an eating disorder, or you're recovering, then get out. If you don't have anything nice to say, hit the big red fucking x in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So I've been struggling off and on with eating disorders since elementary school. Recently they've gotten worse. So I decided to make this blog. I'll just start with today..

Woke up, did 20 minutes of Yoga, 15 minutes of flexability exercises, 8 minutes of Tae Bo, 10(?) minutes dancing, 25 jumping jacks before dinner and I'll do more before bed.

As for food... egh! Umm I had Multigrain Cheerios for breakfast, black bean burrito for lunch, homemade pizza for dinner, which I had to throw back up...but unfortunately I didn't get the chance to get rid of it all. I've been sick so I've been eating more meals to get better, but starting tomorrow I should be back to normal. Wish me luck!

Here's some of my favorite celebrity thinspo:

More to comee (: