when hope was high, and life worth living...

Whoops, I haven't been doing very good on posting. :/ Oh well..
Last night I saw my sisters' high school production of Les Mis. And as much as I hate to admit it, I LOVED IT! It was truely amazing! Best high school play I've ever seen.

Anyway... It's so much harder to stick to my workouts with school here. I can't wait for summer when I can do my right workouts at the right time! (Instead of having to squeeze them into my day!) Food wise, I've been doing better than I was before, but still not very good... I'll have too work on that. I've decided I'm cutting out a bunch of things from my diet (for my stomache problems-well at least that's why I'm saying I am) So basically I'll be able to live off of salad, green veggies and apples and no one can say shit about it (: Yay!

I can't wait to start Power 90 (:

just thinspo today(:

I have much to say, and I'm too lazy to write it. Besides, I'll just bore you.
So here it is (:



headache :/

Well basically my life is screwed right now. Because of my friend who just got locked up they've been interigating the whole school about her and all the shit she does and that they've been givin names on the list of people to possibly drug test. Guess who's name is on the list? Mine...
Nothing good every comes from smoking. Munchies is what made me fat :/
I have a killler headache. I quit drinking soda. && I'm dying without caffeine. :/ Poo
Anyway.
Today I've done great food wise, not as well workout wise. I'll have to get on that. My friend and I are hanging out tonight and watching the movie, It. I'm scared. I hate clowns! Then I get to go to my mom's tomorrow (: I'm excited.

These are the two ED bracelet's I've made so far. One's light pink for EDNOS and the other is blue for depression.

four twenty (:

So today was four twenty (: and you know what that means. But it also means that I got the munchies. :/
I've quit drinking soda. It's been about a day and a half and I'm DYING without caffeine. fml. I'm doing a lot of other things different with my diet lately too, but I wont get into that now.
My friend got locked up today for selling to people at school... :/ I'm so sad for her...
Pooooo my head hurts :(
Well I'm tired and I still have to straighten all of my hair tonight :/ Goodnight everyone!

Just Another Day In My Boring Life.

I didn't go to school today, and now I think I kind of should have. I'm just so sick of it already. I want it to be SUMMER!
Not much else is going on right now. My family's eating dinner in less than an hour, so wish me luck.

&& Libby:
Thanks! I love Mila Kunis too (: She's awesome!

&& Betty:
Lol thanks(: Yay for your pants-insperation! Good luck hun!

  

fall seven times, stand up eight.

Yesterday, swimsuit shopping was actually kind of an inspiration to me. Of course my aunt called me fat the whole time, and I looked like I weighed 3,000 pounds in all of the swim suits, but I found one that was really cute. Which made me want to lose a bunch of weight to look better in it once summer gets here.

Today I'm home "sick". I have something called GERD that makes me throw up a lot of the time. So when I want excuses to not eat, or to get out of going to places, then I just say it's from GERD. Plus, it gives me excuses to throw up nasty food I've eaten.

Thinspo of today (:

Mila Kunis & Heather Morris.

You might recognize Mila from That 70's Show & Black Swan.

Heather from Glee.

Neither of them are Ana, but they're both really thin, and fit. (Heather is a dancer/choreographer) Sometimes it's nice for me to have thinspo of people who aren't necessarily anorexic. & They're both fun celebritites from shows we all know & love (: Well at least I LOVE them!

&& Betty:

Thanks hun (: That made me feel a bunch better. & You're right. My aunt's a bigger fat ass than I am. Lol.

don't just wish for it, work for it.

So I don't have much time to post right now, I'm leaving in just a second to go swim suit shopping. FML right? My aunt already called me fat when we were talking about it this morning. Bitch!

So I have an e-mail ana buddy, and she's awesome (: I love her. I didn't really think I'd grow too close to anyone, but she really seems like a friend (: We talk about a lot of other stuff besides eating, or lack of.

I really think I'm going to do Power 90. My dad says he'll probably get it for me after May 6. (We're saving money for a trip.)

I haven't eaten at all today. And when I do, I'm just going to eat grape fruit. I'll see how hungry... I get later. But I'm going to workout when I get home from shopping I think. Yoga sounds great right now (: Plus, I'll need to do Cardio. Wish me luck.


&& Betty:
It's fine (: Lol I was just surprised that I had followers so soon. Thanks for reading. I hope I don't disappoint you.

FML.

Today didn't go as good as planned. Of course.

I went with my mom today and she took me to the movie, and bought popcorn, then out to eat, then out for ice cream. FML. & My mom was with me every second, so I couldn't even go throw it up.

Plus I weighed myself today, and I haven't lost anything! I'm so mad and upset! I'll have to stick better to my diet and exercising.

I'm going to exercise and get a good night sleep (hopefully). I slept like shit last night. Plus I'm getting sick! Life sucks right now...

Tomorrow I'm being forced by my aunt to go swimsuit shopping. Greattt.... I'll get to see how big of a fucking fat ass I look in a swimsuit. Perfect after just finding out that all my hard work and exercising hasn't paid off.
But on the bright side I'm thinking about doing Power 90. (Exercise workout vid) If anyone's done it, please comment and tell me how it is. I'm excited!

Also I was suprised to find that I have 4 followers already. It's only been a day. I thought this blog was basically just going to be for me, and maybe I'd get a couple followers after a few months. So thanks everyone (: It makes me feel kinda good. Feel free to comment, make suggestions, and even ask questions. Or if it's private I can just give you my e-mail.

Also there's a link to it at the top of my blog, but it's kinda hard to see. If anyone's looking for some good thinspo, and realistic thinspo I have a photobucket account with a bunch of thinspo on it.

&& Heather:

Thanks for the comment! I appriciate it. It's hard to have to deal with. I'm sure we all wish that it was much easier to be skinny... Good luck with everything, and be careful hun.

The Introduction

Basically all you need to know about me, is in the little section where it says about me. I designed this blog for mostly myself and anyother person out there looking for some support. It's a blog for those ONLY with eating disorders. If you don't have an eating disorder, or you're recovering, then get out. If you don't have anything nice to say, hit the big red fucking x in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So I've been struggling off and on with eating disorders since elementary school. Recently they've gotten worse. So I decided to make this blog. I'll just start with today..

Woke up, did 20 minutes of Yoga, 15 minutes of flexability exercises, 8 minutes of Tae Bo, 10(?) minutes dancing, 25 jumping jacks before dinner and I'll do more before bed.

As for food... egh! Umm I had Multigrain Cheerios for breakfast, black bean burrito for lunch, homemade pizza for dinner, which I had to throw back up...but unfortunately I didn't get the chance to get rid of it all. I've been sick so I've been eating more meals to get better, but starting tomorrow I should be back to normal. Wish me luck!

Here's some of my favorite celebrity thinspo:

More to comee (: